I am in the process of cleaning out my office. I am going back to school full time, and I no longer will be working in my current role.
As I have been cleaning my office and bringing things home, I ran across a letter to myself from 10 years ago saved during my college days.
Have you ever written your future self a letter? I have found over the years, it has been a cathartic and necessary for personal and individual recovery of who I am at the time. It also gives me an opportunity to reflect on where I have been and how I ended up where I am at the time of reading. Upon reading these letters, I find myself nearly always drafting another, for a new future self to read.
Here is what the one I found said:
Dear Future Me,
It’s past you. And Past You is upset.
There doesn’t seem to be any good reason to not try and work on the stories you’ve been dreaming on.
You want to act? So go act.
You want to write? Start writing.
You want to ask Joy out? Just ask her already.
You seem to think that there is an algorithm, a drafted manuscript waiting to accompany you into the reality you want for yourself.
Yet, here you are…or rather, here I am wondering if when you read this, you will have listened to anything I’ve said.
Did you get a decent job?
Are you married?
Kids?
What do you do for fun?
What do you do when you’re stressed?
Have you moved out of your parents house?
Do you still want to break things when you’re angry?
Do you still sing random song ideas while driving?
You got a tattoo tonight.
Your first tattoo? Maybe? I don’t know.
I like it.
Maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll work in a place that doesn’t allow them.
Faithful is the one who has called you.
So shall he make it come to pass.
I want to know who we become.
I want you to remember who we were.
But most of all, I want you to be aware of where we are now.
My now
You’re now.
Our future nows.
Make things.
Build.
Stay creative.
Explore new opportunities.
Write more songs.
Draw more weird pictures.
Be funny. Be kind.
Love God. Love others.
Don’t give up on your dreams. Just work a little harder for them, if you need to.
They were never going to be free. Stop waiting. Just go.
-Nick
09/12/2008
I seem to think life is as easy as what I can make of it. In some cases that's true, in others it can be quite difficult. Ultimately, what I find myself reflecting on is the desire to grow and evolve organically as a human through the life circumstances, experiential education through social acquaintances, and the spiritual development of faith in my life. All of the these things coexist within my life experience. All three have intricately woven a story that I call my life, and as it continue to thread itself into existence, I long to see how God uses it for his Kingdom. And how my passions, goals, desires, and abilities can best be used in his service.
Sometimes, what we thought was our life--a job or home--is asked of us, in a aptly put, sacrifice. There is much that I am giving up as I leave my job; much more that I look ahead towards. And still the bittersweet feeling welling up within me cannot help but grieve this seasons passing.
So I write a letter for the impossible.
Dear Future Me,
I am making many great changes.
I am leaving many great things behind.
I am entering a new season. A new chapter.
And you will experience the burdens and rewards of this decision.
I hope it finds you well.
I hope together we have made strides towards a past pressure to pursue our calling.
I pray that my present family, as it grows into your future family you know as you read this, remembers how much you love them, and how much love you gave to serve the way you did.
I am grateful for the time we have had. I am grateful now for the time we will experience anew. Excited to see where you'll go, and all the things you'll do. Stay strong. Stay involved.
Be funny. Be kind.
Love God. Love others.
Finish your stories, man.
-Nick
06/22/2019